Death By Cute

I recently attended a backyard graduation party where the hosts actually owned their own Bouncy Castle. I thought that was awesome. The combination of beer + a Bouncy Castle was even more awesome. There’s a reason kids love these things. Life would be better, I think, if I owned a Bouncy Castle.

I mean, think about it. I come home from work, I feel stressed out? Nothing relieves stress like jumping in a Bouncy Castle. Somebody’s a jerk to me? I won’t get pissed, I’ll jump in my Bouncy Castle. Can’t pay my bills? Whatever, I don’t give a shit! I’ve got a f$^@in’ Bouncy Castle.

Fat and need to work out? As I soon discovered, jumping in a Bouncy Castle is a pretty good full-body workout. If I owned one of these things, I’d be in the back yard jumping on the damn thing every day. I’m pretty sure that I would be in fantastic shape. Someone needs to design an aerobic workout that revolves around jumping in a Bouncy Castle.

I don’t expect you to just take my word for it, of course. I have collected a few videos to demonstrate the awesomeness of Bouncy Castles.

Even puppies love Bouncy Castles:

My Bouncy Castle would be versatile and have many uses, such as being a makeshift raft. To illustrate my case, here is a video of three Englishmen sailing down a river in a Bouncy Castle:

Hell, I could even take a bath in my Bouncy Castle: